Whaddat Chicks Country Flex

Our journey began on thursday night...yes, we left the house at about 9:30...as usual we left three hours later than we were supposed to because fyah was driving. We made one pit stop before heading out but alas, there was no herbal refreshment available. We hoped we could survive the journey without it. After Fyah's usual prayer for protection and Mic's acquisition of about a half a dozen heinekens...off we went! Mary J. Blige (what's the 411) blasted out of the speakers (no big set guys, sorry) accompanied by fyah and tru's LEAD vocals...we'll keep our day jobs.

Before we knew it we had crossed over the dreaded Flat Bridge, driven 'through the green hills of walker's wood...', to the peaceful lull of Mic's snoring in the backseat- she was completely out of it. 1 pack of cigarettes, 1 spliff tail (Fyah found one in her stash!), 3 packs of chippies banana chips, 6 heinekens, 2 cheese crunchies, and 1 bun and cheese later, we rolled on to Gloucester Road- MoBay's Hip Strip. This is the city's central attraction for y'all that don't know. Cars lined both sides of the road as we approached Margueritaville and although we'd missed the 'ladies free before 12' opportunity (and the FREE shots) we were still surprisingly psyched to get our party on after that loooooong journey.

Margueritaville - MoBay

We heard a rumor that picture taking was prohibited at Margueritaville, however, we decided to try our luck. Big flop...the manager, Tony, politely told us to put our camera away in the safety deposit box. It wasn't personal, we were told. Even the Travel Channel and other established networks have been prevented on previous occasions from taking pictures of the interior of the famous bar/club/grill. We did manage to get a picture outside in front of the club, nothing compared to taking pics inside of course, but it'll have to suffice- for now.

We entered a smoke filled Margueritaville, House DJ Tony Mental & the Party Animal Kurt Riley were impressive and the crowd was definitely feelin' it. People of all colours were wilin' out to the music. As usual the tourists had no idea what the words to the songs meant but were enjoying themselves nonetheless. "When music hits you feel no pain!" 3:00 am was closing time...too early if you ask us! Fyah and Tru witnessed a solo dance performance by an obvious CRACK HEAD during closing time. LAUGHIN' SPWILE! This woman was a trip. Doing pirouettes and all kinds of creative dance moves...it was something to behold. If only we had the camera. Apparently, she had lost her "testicles" (spectacles, ok?- so u know where her head is at). We were obliged to help her scan the empty dance floor briefly- then we left!

When we stopped for pan chicken beside Platinum Club, which we opted not to enter despite several invitations, Tru and Fyah were happily munching away while an argument ensued between Mic and the street vendor about his "for foreigners only" priced beers and cigarettes. Poor Mic, will they ever stop treating her like a tourist?

Negril Gardens

On the road again...having regained her energy from the pan chicken, Fyah flew to Norman Manley Blvd. We reached Negril at about 5:00 am, Friday morning. Tired as hell! Negril Gardens was the spot where we crashed compliments of the Negril Gardens management (Big up Lisa- YUH LARGE! and Mr. Dupaul- Thanks for the BANDS man!) Yuh done know how WHADDAT.COM crew do!

Later that day (at noon to be precise), Fyah was awoken to the slam of the bathroom door and the sound of water gushing through the shower, Mic came crashing out the bathroom shouting some incoherent nonsense about the beach- something NOBODY thinks about when they've only slept for what felt like two hours! Tru remained in bed, obviously unmoved by this burst of hysteria. In true WHADDAT mummy form, Fyah proceeded to make us all breakfast. Those pancakes and eggs were the bomb! Tru was geting ready...and ready...and ready...and still wasn't ready by Mic's 3rd cup of instant coffee- like she needs the extra caffeine!

We finally hit the beach. We decided on Margueritaville Negril because we had tokens left over from the night before. Tru and Fyah opted for the strawberry and mango margueritas (yum!)and Mic chose the Dirty Banana. After a little chit chat with Fabian the bartender (bap! bap!) we headed to the sand, grabbed some chairs and bathed in the sun! Even though we had missed premium tanning time, it was well worth it.

After eatin' a big food at the hotel we crashed. Initially Mic and Tru had wanted to take advantage of the shiny purple bands (i.e. drink themselves into a stupor), however all energy had been drained from the day's activities and at 1 am Fyah awoke to find them curled up in their beds!
We had to get up though...

Jungle

The main reason we came to Negril was to visit its newest hot spot- Jungle. Fyah arranged to get WHADDAT up on the guest list after we left the beach, so we couldn't turn it down. We strolled through the glass doors of the club at 2:30am, which was ok as Jungle prides itself in being an after hours club. We were greeted by a slew of hotel employees (1/2 price for them on Fridays) and tourists of all shapes and sizes. The club will BLOW YOU AWAY upon entering. You feel like you've entered a rain forest...picture the "Waiting For Tonight" video by Jennifer Lopez...you get the idea. We definitely need something like this in Kingston. Asylum is so weak/wack compared to Jungle.

Richard Wallace, the club's manager/owner gave us the hook up...Respec'- Gwaan build yuh dream. Of course no night is complete in Negril without the gigolos, however it is worth noting that unlike many 'other' establishments in Negril, Jungle is very strict about the quality of their patrons. No prostitutes, touts, hoodlums, tief etc. etc. Have no fear ladies, all is well at Jungle.

After fully shuttin' down the club, Fyah got her pan chicken from Smokey's and we headed back to the hotel for some well deserved rest. We barely beat the sun once again.
That day we actually got to the beach by noon. Mic went straight to the rum and SPF 4 while Fyah and Tru stuck with Red Stripe Drafts and SPF 15. "No, no, no" said Mic..."I'll be just fine!" By the time we got back to the room, Mic was bitchin' about sunburn with a slur. Still, Tru & Fyah bronzed their bodies to a tee (NB. you CAN get a tan with SPF 15!).

Sweet Spice

We packed up, lounged around for an hour while suffering through a COLD WATER shortage and finally got our roll on. Before heading back to Kingston, we stopped at the famous SWEET SPICE to full our bellies with some home cookin'. It did bashy. SWEET SPICE is one of Negril's best kept secrets. We highly recommend the fried chicken, the oxtail...just try everyting. Prices are fairly reasonable.

Chronic naygaritis kicked in but Kingston beckoned. And here endeth the country adventures of Mic, Tru & Fyah.

One, Peace & Likkle More.